i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Randomize
