So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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