I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I have surprise drugs for everyone
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
