Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
