in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
