DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
