my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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