Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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