I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
