I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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