Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
