yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Randomize
