He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
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