My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
