I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
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