don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
he just fucked me for my cheese..
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
