Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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