Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
party gras won. party gras always wins.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
God, I missed his penis.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
