I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
