capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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