so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
