I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
