Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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