Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
