Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Vodka?
Forever.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
