Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
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