Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
