walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
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