I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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