god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
