They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
