Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
