I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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