I cut my penus on the lid.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
