I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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