If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
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Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
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I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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