Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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