girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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