my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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