you have to choose: penises or morals?
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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