He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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