If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
