Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Even my vagina gasped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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