i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize