mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
pop tarts are not kleenex
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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