It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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