I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Randomize
