Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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