dude i'm inner monologue high
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
