Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
