At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
It was like giving head to a cactus.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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