i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
