weddingsv make me drug and hornr
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Randomize
