I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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