she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
