fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
