I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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