It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
