Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize