Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Randomize
