No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
