There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
